Church of the Great Gesargenplotz
Provisional Liturgical Calendar
(adopted by the Council of Pembroke, 2 March AI 17)
- 3 January
- Liberation Day (on which the GG ate the EE)
- 2 February
- Groundhog Day (previously established)
- 22 February
- Rabbit Day (when the rabbits play)
- mid-March
- Eatser,
or Revelation Night, night of the full moon nearest March 14
(commemorating the revelation of the GG to the Chosen One) [if this
night is clear in a given area, that area is said to be 'clear' for
liturgical purposes for the entire year, otherwise the area is
'cloudy'. (the significance of this is unknown)]
- 19 April
- Kite Day (on which
Gesargenplotzians are urged to fly kites and to consider that life,
like a kite, requires special conditions to operate at all, never lasts
forever, but is sometimes worth the trouble anyway.)
- 5 May
- Frolic Day (self-explanatory)
- 8 June
- Princess
of the Gerbils Day (on which to contemplate our sentience, which we owe
to the EE, and which we have in common with other animals)
- 15 July
- Poppin' Fresh Day
- 24 August
- Dog Day (heretofore August had several dog days, but Gesargenplotzianism has reduced it to one)
- 29 September
- Some
Day (traditional time for reunion of Gesargenplotzian friends, who
often part with the ritual expression "see you Some Day") (certain
schismatics hold that this is properly Thumb Day)
- 13 October
- Fledermaus Tag (scheduled to be redesignated Your Day in AI 33 (1995 in the common reckoning) (Your Day will come)
- late November
- Turkey Day, last Thursday in November (No Thanks, please)
- 25 December
- Gifts-From-Us Day (who else would the gifts be from?) (often contracted to 'Gifsmus')
Authenticated, 28 February AI 27
Harlan B. Miller
Archbullshop and CO